i am tired.
nothing new there.
yet. making really huge strides with music lately.
gonna get where i need to be when i need to be there i guess.
money is tight. really tight.
queens day around the corner.
thank god the cafe is closed.
my body feels light again.
feet hurt under the strain of work but then again the kids were here and they gave me a good day at the animal prison...but i got an artis partis thingy which just rules.
off to bed.
change-up of the d-zrugggles and a new sleep sensation.

well now. wasnt that fun?

Twisting Away

two full days in bed. a good 40 hours sleep brought on by a not so late night on saturday. i guess you could say that i was wrecked by the last few weeks of work and stress. goodness. tuesday at 1 and i have been awake only about 40 minutes.

when i twist like this in my bed my brain does funny things to me. i live halfway between here and there, in a type of middle-class dream/nightmare with large expanses of cheap motels and rubbery chicken.

i can smell the humid air when i open the door a crack to tell the cleaning lady that i will not be needing the place made up today. i smell the half smoked cigarette on the painted concrete outside my window...through the glass.

it has been a very long time since something like this has happened to me. i have been following the straight and narrow as much as i could really. it has been an amazing thing to quit smoking and stick with it. it is also safe to say that i am like this today because of work. really stressing me out, this long dull project that in the end is pretty damned cool but i dont see it that way anymore. honest.

brother in town soon.

Drop in the Health?

so every fucking time i try to do something good for my body, this case stop smoking
i get sick.
i go to the gym i have insane insomnia and i get sick.
i stop drinking (i only drink 2 times a week max now) and i stress out and cant sleep and i get sick.
if i go for a run, i hurt my kness, i cant sleep and i get sick.

funny how that is.